I Am
by N.T. Embe
Summary: I am the irrefutable. I am the eminent victory at hand. I am clear and not bound to the land. My wings, like my voice, will not grow tired. One-Shot.


**Title:** I Am**  
Rating:** PG-13, for talk of mature themes**  
Theme:** Identification**  
Pairings/Characters:** Kallen, hint of Lelouch/Zero**  
Spoilers/Warnings:** Spoiler for end of First Season**  
Time Period:** From the middle of Season One into around the middle of R2.**  
Summary:** I am the irrefutable. I am the eminent victory at hand. I am clear and not bound to the land. My wings, like my voice, will not grow tired.**  
Word Count:** 869**  
Dedication:** To my grandmother, for giving me the peace of mind to voice the troubles of my heart so clearly.**  
Disclaimer: **I don't pretend to own Code Geass, other than pwning at guessing the upcoming events before ever finishing the series. =P**  
A/N:** I'm still reeling in the Kallen mindset~ Can't you tell? It's sad, but I can't get her off my mind. She is, after all, my favorite character.

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I am the life blood. Perhaps I've always been, and never knew such. Or maybe—though my path has ever been tainted claret, I did not become such until specific a time. At what point did I go from merely shedding blood in a futile fight for the liberation of my country, to becoming the disgraced and yet essential whole—the chess piece you, and the rest of those who followed, could not do without? I have been proven true, through impossible odds I have survived. You gave me my position, I gave you myself. And for it—I have and ever will reign high above the plains others still are reduced to walking upon. They there, they struggle. Britannian or Japanese, those who walk can never surpass those of us given—sometimes born into—our wings.

I am the blood shed by my enemies. The blood lying dry beneath harsh the endless sun, there for years, and still unfulfilled. I am the blood of my brother, taken from me too soon, but in time enough to have made me strong. I am the blood of my comrades of origin, which you once needed, but have now clearly nigh on cast aside. I am the still same blood of my rival unquenched and passionate, as he is mine. I am the blood of those you've saved and gifted promise and hope. I am the blood of the innocent you attempt to conform. I am the blood born of treachery, to both my peoples, and therefore unable to win. I am the blood freely given so that others might very well live.

I am a child, like so many others, cast into a fight not their own. I am the tear-streaked cry of vengeance, surging forth to shatter lives, feebly grasping at the purpose another victory might bring. I am the little one, forced to deny my childhood and take up so soon the sword. I am the endless wailing of parents, unable to be placated as their children, for possibly the last time, declare they must go. I am the first to charge, the surprise twist that turns the tides of the battle. I am the final note in defeat and acclamation, unable to be denied. I am the triumphant song and welcome jubilee in disaster and wonder alike.

I truly am… the loyal warrior. And yet…

Still here, still now, I stand… and am forgotten. A commodity you have made me. Little do you do that I no longer do not understand. I was your passion, I was your battle cry! I was irrefutable, the impossible come alive! By the hand you lead me, if only for a moment, and then let me go, either to live or die. I ever forgive, for time passing on into time, I survived. But things, never remain right with the world for long, and into hardships now we have fallen. What had once been proven undeniable, now falters where we above all else should have been strong. This war, like our despair once before, is becoming never-ending, and what seemed clear and true in your words, now becomes fatally murky.

But I… I am your life blood. Trust in my abilities and for you I will slay the tides! You gave me myself—the door opened that I'd never had. Can you see me? I can stand, on my own two feet now. I am the wild card, flexible, prominent and unending in promise. I am trustworthy, and ready for you to give me the final push of your hand.

But you don't see me now. I am the asset taken for granted, like the air you can only breathe, and the ground upon which you shakily stand. There is a blindness called Doubt, called Fear, overtaking your command. Before my eyes, you have become more a stranger than when first your voice broke into this life and gave us the promise of all you had. Would you even know our names if it wasn't in the form of a command?

You hide so far behind the mask that you no longer know the man. And not once did you reach out to grasp my hand. What end is this to your name? What life do you decry futilely, as your legs buckle beneath you, and you topple for lack of a means to stand? What despairing a turn is this, when the follower alone commands what the leader no longer comprehends?

I am the irrefutable. I am the eminent victory at hand. I am clear and not bound to the land. My wings, like my voice, will not grow tired. My skills, like my choices, will never expire. For those in whom my trust I lay, as those who gift theirs freely to me, I will not be shaken or uprooted. I am many times over the lives and blood none can deny. I am the child still, even in my own eyes. I am the passion unrequited, the drive not envied but inspired. I am the same yesterday, today, and all days to come. I am the blood that keeps us alive.

You are…

But I, I am red.


End file.
